Barista Problems IV

   When people are baffled that our sizes are 'small', 'medium', and 'large' as opposed to 'tall', 'grande', and 'venti' (I believe that's the order). Again, we are not a Starbucks. No one can explain my feelings on this better than my main man Paul Rudd. When I do enter a Starbucks I tend to order like this and get a quite similar reaction. Really, says who, Fellini?

"F.Y.I it's called Venti because it's 20 ounces. TWENTY - VENTI."

Barista Problems III

   When someone orders a 'skinny latte' and then proceeds to tell you what that means/how to make it... I'm aware, I do work here y'know. People like to think that because we're not a Starbucks/big corporation that we don't know how to make their fancy little drinks. Also, you sound like an arse when you order a 'skinny' anything. That is all. 

Barista Accomplishments

   When an Australian tells you that you make a mean 'flat white'.

Barista Problems II

   No, you may not take your dark roast coffee with a shot of Kahlua in a 'to-go' cup. That is, in fact, illegal.  

Barista Problems

   Today, a young lady came into the coffee shop that I work in and inquired as to if the coffee was local.. We are in Ontario, we have neither the altitude nor climate to produce copious amounts of badass coffee like that (side note - I am aware this isn't entirely impossible, but really, c'mon, still). I wouldn't have found this so outrageous if the girl didn't also order a decaffeinated cappuccino which I worked oh so hardly on to make look super beautiful only so that she could proceed to add heaps of fake sugar into and stir vigorously (side note 2 - decaf espresso is equivalent to non-alcoholic beer in that it's just plain silly). Anyways, the girl ended up being 110% content with the answer James cleverly provided her with; "It's locally ENJOYED!".